Ariel's testimony

ARIEL'S TESTIMONY:I belong to a family of eight, comprising of 7 boys and 1 girl. For 10 years I was the “bunso”, but I never got any special attention/treatment especially from my father. At that time, I felt “sawa na siya sa boys” and I thought that my speech disability was an added reason why he never really showed any interest in me.
At an early age, I felt rejected by my Dad. This further hindered the development of my speech, and made me feel insecure. These greatly affected my self-worth.
Sports were the means by which I tried to cope with this. I engaged myself in various sports and always made sure I did my best. Fortunately, I excelled in volleyball and soon played for my school and the Philippine team. Because of the recognition I got from the sport, I earned my father’s respect and acceptance which made me work even harder. My achievements in this sport made me popular, accepted, and admired; however, it also paved the way to feed my pride and open doors to engage myself in immorality. It was also during that time when I was invited to become a ramp model, and this further inflated my ego. Women were all around me, and I got involved with most of them. This gave me temporary fulfillment and thought that it added value to my self-worth. Still wanting to improve my image, I joined a fraternity to give myself a more macho effect.
(At this point, I would like to ask for forgiveness from my brother, Kuya Von. Kuya, I am sorry for lying to you before when I denied joining a fraternity and for not submitting to your authority.)
Things suddenly changed, when at one time in my life, I was under surveillance.
For the first time I experienced the real and true sense of the word, “fear”. I realized that there were a lot of things beyond my control. I ran from one place to another trying to hide, but the threat of death was always so near. The hit man seemed to know every single move I made, what I wore, and where I went. It came to a point where I just could not trust anyone, not even my own shadow. I have reached a point of paranoia where in one of my sorties, everyone I met looked like hired gunmen. During one pictorial, I noticed a chopper hovering over us and I instantly hid at the back of my co-workers. Fear and death overwhelmed me; my surroundings grew dark and seemed as if it was closing in on me, and all I could think of doing was to run to my room and hide. Upon entering the room, for some reason, my vision was tunneled to the Bible at the corner of the room. When I opened it, the first verse I saw was John 3:16 which reads, "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” The words shall not perish struck me and never before had it been so real to me. It instantly calmed me down and brought light to my gloomy mind. It is so hard to explain the experience I encountered that day. Out of fear and desperation, I cried and bowed down before a God I never knew in such a personal way before. I found myself desperately calling out to Him for help.
After that incident, I called my girlfriend and told her about what happened. Looking back, I can see God’s strong hand in my life and that situation, because she told me that her doctor had invited her to join an event in CCF. I joined her and learned more about the verse that spoke to me in that most desperate moment in my life. I learned that Jesus died on the cross and paid for the penalty of my sins, that He rose again on the 3rd day, and that He gave His life up for me. I needed to pray and ask for His forgiveness, accept His grace & unconditional love, and make Jesus my Lord and Savior from that day forward.
After accepting Jesus Christ in my life, there has been an ongoing battle between my old and new self. He never promised that all my troubles would disappear, but I was sure that He was my fortress and strength in all the trials I faced and will face. Before my life with Christ, I was relying on my own strength and will to get past all the trials I encountered. But now, I can boldly face these problems because I have cast all my cares to Him and continue to trust only in God’s strength, power, and sovereignty over my life.
Our wedding has been another testimony of God’s perfect will and hand in our lives. We literally started from zero, but trusted that God will fulfill and be faithful to His promises to us. With each day that came as we planned this, God’s wonders and miracles unfolded. Karen and I could just stand in awe by how He has provided for us in every step of the way, and we can only give back all the glory and praise that is due to Him alone!